We put our whole hearts and invest our energy and resources into the role of raising our children. So when our kids leave for college or move out of our home, we can feel a profound sense of loss and sadness. Here are some helpful recommendations for how to cope with becoming an empty nester.
How to Cope With Becoming an Empty Nester
When your youngest child leaves for college or moves out of your house, you’ve officially become an empty nester. While in some ways, it might feel like it’s time to celebrate the beginning of a new chapter for everyone in the family, it can take time for parents to adjust to this major change. “Empty nest syndrome” isn’t a clinical diagnosis, but it’s possible to adapt and thrive while dealing with an empty nest.
Processing Your Emotions
Coping with becoming an empty nester can feel bittersweet. When you’ve spent 18 or more years caring for your child in body, mind and spirit — from changing diapers to helping them apply to college or for a first job — it’s natural to feel a mix of emotions, including:
- Anticipation: Your newfound freedom may feel like an exciting opportunity to pursue personal interests
- Grief: Experiencing a profound sense of loss is quite common
- Lack of purpose: Without the ongoing responsibilities that come with managing kids at home, your calendar may seem uncomfortably empty
- Loneliness: A quieter house and an empty seat at the kitchen table can’t be ignored easily
- Sadness: You miss the daily, face-to-face interaction and routines you enjoyed with your kids
Fortunately, acknowledging and accepting your feelings is the first step to adjusting.
Embracing a New Chapter
It’s helpful to keep in mind that your role as a parent has changed, but it hasn’t ended. Experts recommend a variety of healthy ways to move forward as an empty nester, including:
- Pause and plan: It can be tempting to immerse yourself in many activities. But first consider how you’d like to spend your time. Do you want to:
- Take a part-time job or start a second career?
- Pursue more education?
- Travel?
- Practice self-care: Prioritize your well-being through regular exercise, a healthy diet and a way to take care of your mental health, such as affirmation, prayer or journaling
- Explore interests and new hobbies: Connect with others at community classes or events like cooking, gardening, painting, book clubs and lectures. You can do anything from join a pickleball team or take piano lessons
- Renew relationships: Reconnect with your spouse and plan activities together. Meet old friends for lunch, travel to see out-of-town family members, arrange a neighborhood coffee date and more
- Volunteer: Invest your time in a cause that interests you, from serving the homeless to working at a dog shelter. Not only will you impact the organization, but you’ll also meet new people in your community
Staying Connected
Today, it’s easier than ever to stay in touch with your kids when you’re dealing with an empty nest. Take advantage of:
- Phone or video calls: Video chats let you see your kids and are second best to being physically together
- Scheduled visits: If possible, visit your child for a day or weekend, depending on their location. And make it easy for them to come home for holidays and special occasions
- Text and email: Connecting instantly via digital tools can ease your loneliness
Seeking Support
If you’re experiencing persistent or severe depression or anxiety as you cope with an empty nest, seek professional support. Symptoms can include:
- Constant fatigue
- Difficulty concentrating
- Feeling worthless or suicidal
- Losing interest in activities you once enjoyed
- Sleeping too much or not enough
A local support group for empty nesters offers an empathetic community. Speaking with a therapist is helpful to process your emotions and develop a healthy plan to move forward.
At AdventHealth, we can help. To make an appointment with a psychiatrist, psychologist or counselor, please contact us.
