“Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean me first; it means me too.” -L.R. Knost
If you’re a parent, it’s likely safe to say that putting your kids’ needs before your own is both a familiar concept and an automatic habit that keeps your family functioning smoothly — until it doesn’t. Can going too long without your own care and upkeep take a toll on more than just your health?
As an idea, putting others first sounds like the right thing to do and makes us feel like good parents. The truth is, just by caring so deeply, you are already a good parent. As a way of life, it comes naturally to many mothers and fathers to put themselves on the backburner and place all their time and energy into their children. But giving of ourselves until we have nothing left to give can come with costs, not only to our own health but to our families’ well-being, too.
Keep reading to learn about the importance of parental self-care and how to strike the balance between caring for your family while also investing in your whole health so you can maintain the energy to keep going. You’re better able to give your best when you’re at your best. And most of all, you’re worth it.
What Is Self-Care and Why Is It Important?
Due to varying contemporary social and environmental factors, parental stress is at an all-time high while parental mental health is at an all-time low. And self-care is more than a trend or buzzword. As parents, it’s vital for our well-being to care for ourselves as much as we care for our families. If your health begins to deteriorate from burnout — physically, mentally or both — it becomes difficult to stay afloat.
Let go of the guilt. Self-care is not selfish or a luxury, but a necessity. It’s not about avoiding your responsibilities or overlooking your kids’ needs. It’s about taking care of yourself so that you can take care of others even better. It’s a balancing act so that you can thrive, and your family wants you to be well.
How Can Self-Care Help?
Here are just a few of the ways self-care can tangibly benefit you and your family — in body, mind and spirit:
- Self-care can help restore your energy: When you take time to rest and rejuvenate, you’ll be more present with your family.
- You’ll cope better with anxiety. Parenting can be stressful, and if you don’t manage it well, it can affect your mood, relationships and overall. Self-care can help you relax your body, calm your mind and lift your spirit.
- Self-care can boost your outlook on life. When you’re more connected to yourself and what makes you feel happy and well, you’ll naturally be happier and healthier. And you’ll be better able to extend your joy to others.
- You can prevent burnout with self-care. Burnout is a state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion caused by chronic stress. It can lead to depression, anxiety, irritability and low self-esteem. Self-care can help you avoid burnout by balancing your demands with your resources.
- You’ll model healthy habits for your kids. Children learn by observing their parents’ behaviors and attitudes. If they see you taking care of yourself, they will learn to do the same for themselves and will respect you and your boundaries all the more.
What You Can Do To Show Yourself the Care You Deserve
You're not superhuman and don't have to pretend to be. Here are some self-care actions you can take as a parent:
- Live healthily: Prioritizing your health isn’t selfish. Caring for yourself is part of caring for your family, because if you’re not well, you won’t be able to provide care. Eat a nutritious diet, get regular exercise, and take a high-quality multivitamin. Practice preventive health care before you get sick or burned out.
- Find a provider: Routine health care reduces many poor health outcomes, including mental health, because your primary care provider can screen for mental health conditions.
- Go to a counselor: Counseling can be especially helpful for parents who already struggle with mental health challenges or are having a difficult time in life. And it’s just a great idea for any parent to have a counselor they connect with and trust to help them navigate life’s ups and downs.
- Learn to say no: Knowing when to say no to unnecessary requests and extras will help you place boundaries around your and your family’s sacred space.
- Take time for yourself: Carving out some sacred time just for you is essential. You can take a walk, a bath, read a book or whatever makes you feel whole. Remember to breathe deeply.
- Get a massage: It’s OK to splurge on a massage occasionally or even regularly if you can. While they may be considered indulgent by some, they’re a great investment in your whole health. Massages can reduce and help you manage chronic pain and promote relaxation — in body, mind and spirit.
More ways to make space to heal and provide self-care include creating your own sanctuary in your home or office that induces a sense of peace, adding time in your calendar (so you must do it) for relaxing activities you enjoy and taking yourself out to lunch somewhere you enjoy. Having enough alone time is just as important as nurturing healthy relationships with the special people in your life so you can show up as your best self for your family every time.
You Matter
At AdventHealth, we’re here to help you know that the full-time job of parenting is a challenge, and that you’re worth investing in yourself. If you’re struggling, reach out to our compassionate AdventHealth behavioral health specialists for a personalized treatment plan and expert care that sees the whole you. You deserve to feel whole — in body, mind and spirit.
